The 1990’s: The Good Ol’ College Try

Ahhhh, the 1990’s.  It was a time of economic growth and prosperity for most people – thanks, in part, to George H.W. Bush, the “Read my lips.  No new taxes” president who had the courage to do just that (raise taxes).  It was the time of “Can’t Touch This,” the birth of the super model, Johnny Depp’s “Winona Forever” tattoo, Baywatch babes, “The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire,” Calvin Klein underwear, raves, the Rachel haircut, Gwyneth + Brad, and the presidency of the man who said, “It depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.”

For me – well – it was a time of exploration.  I graduated from high school at the end of the 80’s, and I soon packed up for college, taking along a sassy new haircut that got rid of the Odessa bangs, hairspray, and significant amounts of mousse.  I had wanted to go to U.T. in Austin, but my parents wanted me to go to Baylor in Waco.  So, off I went to Baylor with my parents in tow on that first weekend – and according to my mom, my dad didn’t say a single word on the drive back home.  I don’t remember much about Baylor, but I do remember that I never felt like it was a good fit for me – I always felt like the odd man out.  To be fair, I’m not sure that I would have fit in anywhere initially, at least for the first two years, because I was a homebody, and I missed home.  Baylor did have some memorable moments, though, but, for the most part, I’ve blocked out that era in my brain – probably because it was a bit painful.   My precious aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer my freshmen year of college, and my good friend, Angela Kinsey – yes, that Angela Kinsey of “The Office” – came home with me for a weekend in order to support my family.

I ended up leaving Baylor my sophomore year, and I transferred to Trinity University my junior year.  I loved Trinity!  It was the perfect fit for me.  I made great friends; we had great times together; oh, and I studied a bit, except for my last semester there.  (I didn’t own a book my last semester, so I know I didn’t study much.)  Some of my fondest memories from the 1990’s are because of the people I met at Trinity.  We would always find a reason to have a good time.  The train tracks are shut down because a train went off the rails at noon?!?  OK!  Let’s throw an afternoon party.  It’s the beginning of the school year, but Halloween is right around the corner?!?  OK!  Let’s throw a party.  The sky is blue?!?  Let’s throw a party.  Let’s go out at 11 p.m.  Let’s have a good time just because we can.  During my years at Trinity, there was always a reason to dress up and always a reason to celebrate – whether it be for alumni weekend, a sorority formal, or costume parties where I dressed up like Marilyn Monroe or the gal from Deelite, the singer of “Groove is in the Heart.”  Really, it was all just about hanging out with great friends.

In the 1990’s, I gave up God.  It wasn’t God’s fault, and it wasn’t the influence of my friends, or the partying, or the autonomy and independence that college brings.  I gave up God because the 1980’s brought the “conservative Christian” movement with all the trimmings of the televangelists who didn’t fit my Biblical worldview of Christianity.  Many of them pointed fingers, sinned themselves, and asked for lots of money along the way.  I gave up God because I saw Christians judge without love, sin without reproach, and create wedge issues with others who didn’t believe as “good Christians” did.  It all left a really bad taste in my mouth, so I walked away from God for a very long time.

In the 1990’s, I gave up a bit on my family, too.  That’s really hard to admit, but it’s probably the truth.  My parents got divorced after 29 years of marriage, and I harbored a lot of anger, hurt, and bitterness in my heart over it for more years than I would like to admit.  After 29 years of marriage, you just expect that your parents will always be together, even if they aren’t happy.  Even though I was an adult by the time it happened, I was hurt, and I ended up in counseling to deal with the reality that life would be different.  I had to work through the anger and the pain.  I had to adjust to the reality that my parents were not perfect and human. I had to learn how to let go. On a weird, positive note, I will say, though, that in general during that time, my parents showed us how to get divorced with dignity and grace.  Was it a perfect divorce?  No, no divorce ever is.  But, I remember the strength, resolve, and patience that both of my parents showed.  My mom, who hadn’t worked since I was in second grade, got a job at Macy’s.  She also dressed up to the nines just to go to the grocery store because she needed that moment to show the world that she was going to be OK – resolve!  My dad often weathered my accusations, pain, and anger with a whole lot of grace – patience!  It took me years to figure it out, but I eventually did understand that they were just doing the best that they could – just like all of us.

As for music, TV, movies, and the like – well, the list is long.  I loved Pearl Jam, The Pixies, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Beastie Boys, Tori Amos, Seal, The Fugees, and Lenny Kravitz, just to name a few.  I remember where I was – I can visualize in my head – when the Oklahoma City Bombing and the David Koresh/Branch Davidian compound takedown occurred.  I remember watching “Melrose Place” and the show about nothing (“Seinfeld”).  I remember “Pulp Fiction,” “The Silence of the Lambs,” “Forrest Gump,” “Edward Scissorhands,” and lots of other movies.  The ’90’s was a great era for music and movies!

I know.  I know.  If you know me well, you know that I met the Hubs during the ’90’s.  Well, there’s just not enough room here to go into the beginning of our journey together.  I’m tired of writing, so I can only assume that you are tired of reading, too.  So, the next post will be epic, y’all, as I take on writing about the Hubs and me, our life, in the beginning – it wasn’t boring, I can assure you.

Thank you for going on this journey with me.  I love you all, and have a great day!