2016 Was Something Else: The Abbrievated Version

2016 was hard, really hard.  Now that January of 2017 has arrived, I’ve decided to look back begrudgingly at 2016.  I don’t want to. Really, I just want to put my head under the covers and tell 2016 to get the heck out of here.  Honestly, it was one of the hardest years of my life.  I look back not to state how awesome it was.  It wasn’t.  But, there were highlights, some very good things that happened to me, and I want to remember those things.

I can’t really tell you much about 2016.  It was a pretty big blur to me. That’s sad, isn’t it?!?  I lived a whole year and can only remember a few things about it.  I remember having my ovaries removed in June because one of them looked suspicious.  Immediately after my ovaries were removed, I remember communicating to my neighborhood Bible study friends in email that “I’ve got this” only to communicate five weeks later that I needed help, that I needed meals, that I needed prayer, that I needed them.  I remember going to doctor after doctor after doctor because not one of them could tell me what was wrong.  I remember none of the doctors being able to help me.  Three months of back and forth and back and forth after surgery, and I remember finally getting the help that I needed.  Diagnosis – severe menopause with symptoms that most doctors don’t realize fall under menopause.

Even in the midst of that miserable experience, and it was truly miserable, I remember the good things, too – the people who helped me through it all while challenging my faith to believe that it was going to be OK.  I remember drawing closer to my mom and stepmom as they listened to me cry a lot, often, almost every day, in my anguish and pain.  I remember my husband who kept the household together as I fell apart.  I remember friends who brought meals, who prayed over me, who sent me encouraging books and gifts and words.  I remember friends who didn’t judge me if I hadn’t showered, shaved, or brushed my hair.  I remember my go-to group who took care of my child every day during the summer because I didn’t have the energy to do it myself.  I remember growing closer to God and growing in my faith, as my confidence was shaken and my resolve was gone.  I remember screaming at God, praying on my knees, and begging God to take the burden away from me.

So, even in the misery, I had a lot to celebrate.  I am so grateful for the people in 2016 who prayed, who encouraged, and who brought me joy, especially when joy seemed so far away.  I am grateful for a God who never left me, even during my trials and tribulations, even when I was angry at him.  I am so grateful for my family who never gave up on me, even when I wasn’t there for them. Today as I look back, with gratitude, I look forward to what 2017 brings because I am a new person with a new lease on life.  May I always remember 2016.